PREGNANT!!!

Oh my Lord, I’m PREGNANT!!!

I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am that Dave and I are expecting again. From the moment we made the decision to start TTC, I knew September would be the month we’d conceive- I just KNEW it!!! (I love being right, LOL). I have felt all month long like this was our month, but still wondered if I was making up symptoms because I wanted it so bad. The timing just works out so well for so many reasons that we couldn’t have planned it better.

Okay, for the fun of it, let’s back up and examine the last several days. As of about Wednesday last week (11 DPO), I was feeling some pretty strong physical symptoms that made me think I definitely might be pregnant. But I really didn’t want to get my hopes up. But little things just made me think. For example, I normally don’t have a really strong sense of smell, but I have definitely been smelling anything and everything for the last week. Then, of course, there’s Zeus (my Akita/Husky) who has been giving me so much extra attention over the last week. He did the same thing throughout my first pregnancy- some animals just KNOW, and he’s one of them. And of course, there’s the few moments of queasiness that pop up here and there- and the raging hunger! This is a good phase: food is currently the most wonderful thing in the world; I know from experience that this doesn’t last long, so I’m enjoying it while it lasts!!!

Okay, back to the fun stuff. Come Friday night last week, I was going back and forth on whether or not to test in the morning since I‘d be 14 DPO. Well, after believing all month that this was the month, I was all of the sudden completely psyching myself out, making me not want to test- ever. I had a very rough night emotionally, became very depressed and all of the sudden started feeling like not only weren’t we pregnant  right now, but that we never ever going to be. Just a TAD dramatic, huh? Lol. Actually, that severe of an emotional breakdown made me that much more convinced that AF would be showing any minute, because that’s how I get right before it comes. So I cried myself to sleep, fully expecting to see AF in the morning. Well, morning came and I woke up feeling very calm and emotionally together (literally night and day from 12 hours earlier, lol). I decided to test, just in case. I didn’t know what I “felt” anymore as far as whether or not I was pregnant, but I figured I might as well go for it. I set the test on the counter and woke up Dave. Wonderful, supportive husband and father-to-be that he is, Dave wanted to be there for the test results. So after about 5 minutes, we went in to look at the test together. And, um, I couldn’t open my eyes for a good 10 seconds- I was just so afraid to know. When I finally did, the first thing I saw was a really dark vertical line. I thought to myself, well, that’s the control line (we used a test that shows a plus for pregnant). It took a moment to realize that it was the HORIZONTAL line that was the control line- that super dark vertical line meant we are pregnant!!!

Obviously, we were both thrilled. I think I said “Oh my God,” about 10 times and burst into tears. It was absolutely the greatest moment. There is just something about this pregnancy that feels right. I mean, I thought that our second pregnancy would be terrifying for me right from the get-go. And it’s possible that I may find myself super stressed at times, but from the moment I saw that BFP result, I have felt this overwhelming peace and joy- something I’m sad to say I never felt while carrying Angel. Perhaps it’s women’s (or Mother’s) intuition, but I had a bad feeling from the moment we found out we were expecting him; this time, there is only joy and excitement about what is to come. Since I do know that there are so many things that can go wrong with any pregnancy, I have made a conscience decision to live by the following throughout my pregnancy: “Today, I am still pregnant.” And while I hope that that remains true for another 8 months, I know that each day I have with this precious baby (babies?) is a gift from God.