As of tomorrow, we will be 39 Weeks along. Though we were technically considered “full-term” at 37 Weeks, tomorrow’s milestone is the ultimate goal medically for a healthy pregnancy. We made it! I just cannot believe how far we’ve come, and how close we are to meeting our sweet baby. We had a false alarm the night before last, where I thought my water may have broken, but after going in to the hospital to have it checked out, we found out it hadn‘t. It was definitely disappointing because we are just SO ready to meet our daughter! As each day passes, it gets increasingly harder to sit around and wait. Since my blood pressure has been elevated over the past few weeks, I’m on modified bed rest and have to spend much of my day lying on my side. Without the ability to do much around the house to keep myself busy, the waiting tends to drag on, and I find myself questioning every ache- could that be a contraction? Lol. I know that right now, Sweet Pea is in the safest place possible for her to be healthy. I had a couple of ultrasounds this week, and they showed just how well she’s doing in my womb. So, logically, I know that she’s where she needs to be right now. But my heart wants so badly to hold her and love on her and tell he how much I’ve been looking forward to being her Momma, and so I want her to come right NOW! Lol. First lesson in parenting that I need to learn: it’s time to let go of control. And oh hard that will be for a control freak like me, lol. But this little one is already teaching me that it’s not about MY plan, MY timeline- life will happen and play out as it’s supposed to, no matter how much I try to control it. And I know my daughter will be just as stubborn as me, so the sooner I learn that I can’t control her, the better!
On another note, I am surprised to find myself a little sad at the idea of not being pregnant for much longer. Even though it has been incredibly physically demanding, and the idea of going through the morning sickness of the first half all over again one day makes me want to stay as far away from Dave as possible lest I get pregnant again lol, I will miss this special time alone with my little one. It sounds cliché, but pregnancy is just such a miracle and it’s so hard to wrap my head around the blessing I’ve been given of carrying this child of God over the past 9 months. You know, as painful as this journey has been at times, as difficult as our losses of Angel and Punkin were, I know that from their short lives, I was taught an invaluable lesson in the fragility and true miraculous nature of life. I have such a profound appreciation for what it means that we are at this point right now, with a full-term baby with no foreseeable complications after a pregnancy that had no major health issues- no pre-term labor, no pre-term delivery, no pre-eclampsia, no gestational diabetes, no random hospital stays. I feel so grateful and blessed to have had the healthy pregnancy I have, and I thank God daily for taking such incredibly good care of my daughter. I still feel in awe of the whole situation, and find myself waking up in the morning often thinking it’s all just a dream. I can’t put into words what it’s like to have a dream that was set in motion 5 ½ years ago, but first imagined around 25 years ago, almost realized. It’s truly surreal, and if I am dreaming, please don’t wake me up- I want to see how this one plays out and see what this beautiful miracle growing inside my belly looks like first J .
Lord, I pray that you will watch over us in these final days of our pregnancy, keeping our baby girl healthy and strong. I pray for a smooth and complication-free labor and delivery and for our daughter to be born healthy and free of any medical complications. Thank you so much, Lord, for the incredible blessing of this child and for choosing Dave and I to be her parents. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
